


Five Things: Jess Edition

by clex_monkie89



Series: Five Things (2006) [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-01
Updated: 2006-09-01
Packaged: 2017-10-18 19:03:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/192212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clex_monkie89/pseuds/clex_monkie89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five Things: Jess Edition</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things: Jess Edition

_Five things Jess knew about Dean._

1.

The exact shape of his teeth.

Sam has these faint white lines on his chest. They're under his right pec and close to the side. They form a mishapened circle with some indented places.

Sam said his big brother bit him once when they were little. Wrestling match gone mean.

...Jess really wants to believe him.

2.

Sam has implied on more than one occasion that some of his scars may have similar yet more vicious counterparts on his older brother.

 _"It could've been worse, if Dean hadn't-- Yeah. It's not as bad as it looks."_

3.

He spoiled Sam rotten.

Sam can't bake or cook. He can barely use a microwave and she actually had to show him how to make Kool-Aid. He knows how to to laundry and can get any stain out of anything. He can sew better than her Grandmother but is completely stumped by grocery shopping.

Any time you make yourself something, a glass of milk, a sandwhich, anything, he assumes you've made him something too. And when you haven't? He makes this _face_ and you can't help but feel like you've just punted a puppy across the room.

Jessica loves Dean for that almost as much as she loves Sam.

4.

 

Dean was once expelled from a Catholic School for getting caught having sex in a bathroom during lunch.

Sam was expelled too because he was the lookout. Apparently, this was par for the course for them.

5.

According to Eli, he kisses just like Sam does, or more specifically Sam kisses just like he does.

She kinda thinks it's a joke but sometimes she's just not sure.

* * *

 _5 lies Jess caught Sam in and 5 reasons why she didn't confront him about them._

1.

That scar he has, that large, roughened patch of flesh on his lower back that he says came from a propane explosion.

She knows that's a load of bullshit.

That scar didn't come from fire, the flesh there didn't burn, it bubbled like something that had scalding water or some kind of chemical thrown on it.

She never calls him on it though.

She's going to be a social worker one day and she's going to have to be able to handle children whose parents have done unthinkable, inhumane things to them. One day.

She doesn't think she'll ever be able to deal with the reality of what that monster (not a father, not a man, a real man would never hurt someone like that much less their own flesh and blood) did to Her Sam though.

2.

That's NOTHING though. She lazily scratches his stomach one night after sex and he mentions that Dean used to scritch and scratch his stomach when he was little.

She stops scratching for a moment because who the FUCK brings up their brother after sex? Especially when their girlfriend is...

Scratching their stomach.

3.

That whole "It's against my religion to be naked" thing he tried to pull way back.

Okay, sure, he was raised in the same cult as Eli apparently and Eli's always all covered and stuff too but...

If that were true, how the hell would they shower?

4.

There are times, not many but enough to note, when Jessica isn't entirely sure Sam's mother died in a fire.

It's just the way his voice is perfectly even right before his mouth twitches, like he's rehearsed it or something, that makes all the blood in her body run ice-cold.

5.

Sam claims to hate all music made before the nineties.

On the rare occasion that he listens to the radio, he flies right past the classic rock stations (and how does he know which ones not to even pause on anyway?) like stopping on them will unleash a plague or something.

But.

Jess though has woken up in the middle of the night with Sam curled around her and some loud, guitar-filled song blasting out of the stereo. She has seen the AC/DC on the iPod she got him (with Evan's credit card but it's the thought that counts), right above the Led Zeppelin and The Eagles and she has heard him screaming along with the Johnny Cash CD _she_ certainly doesn't own in the shower.

What she doesn't understand is why the fuck you would lie about music anyway, why not lie about something important?

* * *

 _5 things about Jess that remind Sam of Dean._

1.

The boxes arrives on a Tuesday. Jessica takes all fifteen boxes and sorts the clothing into piles, shirts Dietrich got himself, shirts Jess got herself, shirts Eli got himself and shirts Jess got for Sam.

Sam's shirts range from mild to ones he would never, ever wear (such as the one with a picture of a demon on it and "Whatever doesn't kill you makes it stronger" written in faux blood).

Jessica wears her new shirts every chance she gets.

Wednesday is a baby pink shirt with _I'll be using these to get ahead_ written across her chest in hot pink letters.

Thursday is a plain black shirt with white lettering. _This orgy sure is off to a slow start._

Friday is their date night. She wears a black and white baseball shirt to the movies with _Two drinks away from girl-on-girl action_ on it in big red letters underneath the buxom, female sillouettes.

Saturday Jess spends the day in her sports bra and panties.

Sunday is a four-x shirt worn as a dress with a belt stolen from Sam. The shirt proclaims she is not wearing any underwear.

2.

Sam and Jess once spent three and a half hours debating the finer points of Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate and Farscape.

Han, Kirk, Teal'c and Chiana. Sam's laughter may have had a slightly hysterical tinge to it when he found out all of Dean's favorite characters were Jess's favorites.

3.

Shortly before their fifth date Sam takes a header down the stairs in the dorm (really, he got tackled and pummulled by the pissed-off ghost in the third floor bathrooms but that's not exactly something you tell the girl you think is hot) and some moron actually calls the paramedics.

Jessica goes to the hospital that night. She steals his juice, signs the bandage on his (minor, very minor) head wound and tells him he has to get out of there soon because otherwise she's going to fuck him in the hospital bed and that's frowned upon.

4.

Sam once spent three days trying to watch The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring with Jess.

It took three days because not only can Jess not sit still for fifteen minutes but she can't shut up either.

Sam wants to punch Eli right in his damned face for ever calling him Frodo around her.

And, Jesus Christ, Sam will never, _ever_ look at Legolas or Aragorn the same way again.

5.

She listens to AC fucking DC.

Sam may have cried a little when he found out.

* * *

 _Five things Sam never knew about Jessica._

1.

Sam never knew about the list of baby names Jess kept in her notebook.

Truthfully, she'd been thinking about baby names since she was about twelve or so.

This list was different though, this list was full of names she thought sounded good in front of "Winchester."

2.

Jessica had a big brother once. She was five and a half when he died. Car accident. Drunk driver.

Sam knows this.

She never told Sam the drunk driver was her biological father though.

She knew he'd understand but she just couldn't ever make herself say the words.

3.

Jessica hates war movies.

Hates them. Everything from Platoon to Full Metal Jacket to Black Hawk Down to... Actually those are the only ones she can name.

She's never liked them. She hates war and she hates watching people die (unless it's someone who deserves it like those idiots in the horror movies who _run up the fucking stairs_ when a killer is chasing them) and the gore in the movies really does make her want to vomit a lot.

But Sam loves them so much and he rarely asks for anything. So she watches the movies with him and tries as hard as she can to fall asleep within the first fifteen minutes.

4.

Sam knows that Jess thinks she believes in ghosts, not the real ones he's seen but the Hollywood idea of them.

She thinks the dorm is haunted (which, given, it is) and has told several people, including Sam. He, of course, made fun of her and implied she might not be very bright for thinking such things.

He still feels like shit for that.

Sam knows that Jess tried to talk to the _spirit_ (a girl who fell off the roof drunk and broke her neck) once.

Jess never told him that the girl talked back though.

5.

And Jess _certainly_ never told Sam what the spirit, Julia, said about him.

It was probably all lies anyway.

Sam can't even shoot a pellet gun, she's seen him try.

* * *

 _Five times Jess stole Sam's food._

1.

The very first time Sam and Jess met it was in the cafeteria. Sam was eating alone near the back and this beautiful blonde with a tray packed with food came up to him and asked if he was going to eat his apple.

Sam picked up said apple and licked it.

And then cursed himself in his head and wondered why the hell he even did it, it was not like it had ever stopped Dean.

Apparently it wouldn't stop the new girl either. She took the apple out of his hand and took a big bite of it, introducing herself (mouth still full of apple) as Jess and sitting down at his table.

Sam didn't stand a chance.

2.

Their first date involves a trip to a cheap Chinese restaurant Sam knows.

Sam gets the beef and broccoli with sticky rice and an order of dim sum.

Jess gets orange chicken and egg rolls.

They spend an hour and a half at the restaurant. Jess eats all her food, all of Sam's dim sum and a large portion of his beef and broccoli.

3.

"Dammit," Sam curses as he rummages through his drawer. Shrimp ramen, there, beef ramen, there, bag of cereal, there, ritz crackers, there (opened and half-eaten, but there), chocolate frosting, missing.

"What," Dietrich asks.

"Jess."

"What about her?"

"She's a kleptomaniac. She keeps stealing my food."

"Maybe you should stop showing her where you hide it."

"Shut up."

"Want a cookie?"

"Did you lick it?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

4.

Cafeteria again. Jess, Sam, Dietrich, Eli and Evan are all actually eating there. Dietrich hates cafeteria food and Evan's spoiled rotten so Sam's positive that Jess bribed them down there.

Sam has the last chilli dog.

Jess is currently trying to bribe him with sex for it. Sam will not be swayed though, mainly because he can hold out on sex longer than Jess can and giving up good food for no reason is just stupid.

He shoves nearly half the thing in his mouth, ignoring anything Eli and Dietrich are bound to say, and smiles at Jess while she begs.

"Please baby, just one little bite? Pretty please? I'll totally make it worth your while."

Sam considers this.

And then reachs in his mouth, pulls out a chunk of half-chewed chilli dog, and sets in on Jess' tray.

Sam can't help but laugh when she picks it off her plate and eats it. He laughs even harder when Evan and Dietrich start gagging and make choking noises.

"Oh my God," Jess starts. "I'm eating something covered in my boyfriend's saliva, ew! That's so gross! It's like, oh my God, so nasty! Please. If I can suck his cock I can eat his food dammit."

Sam's forehead hits the table with a thump.

5.

Okay. So maybe it doesn't technically count as stealing since Jess is the one who made it and made it for herself. And bought half the groceries. And picked out the food.

But still.

 _Dean_ always made Sam food when he made himself something.


End file.
